Sunday, September 6, 2015

Faith in Every Footstep: My Journey (back) to Utah

I've been feeling prompted to write down my experiences as I've decided to move to Utah. So here it goes! (I'm going to want to refer to this when it is 20 degrees outside and snowing. I'll have to remind myself I felt this was right. ;) )

Back in January of this year I had the impression that I need to move back to Utah - at least for now. I don't know if I want to live there the rest of my life. But then again, it's not about what I want. Anyway, when this happened, I took an inventory of my life. I had been feeling for quite some time that life was "ok," but something was missing. I wasn't progressing in many areas of life. And I absolutely hate that. I want to grow and progress. Little did I know, I'd have plenty of "growing" experiences this year. (I wasn't quite wanting that when I wanted to grow!)

I weighed the pros and cons and decided moving to Utah was the path I needed to pursue (side note - if you're interested to know more about all of the reasons I decided to move, I'd be happy to chat about it.). I started applying for jobs. Within a couple of weeks I had a couple of prospects. One was really good. It was a job I really wanted and felt it would be perfect for me. Unfortunately, I did not get it. I was crushed. But, I pressed forward.

For the next several months I continued applying for jobs. It was an interesting process. Sometimes I wouldn't even feel right about interviewing for a particular job - I knew it just wasn't right. I feel like I learned a lot about the Spirit through this and about how the Spirit speaks to me.

By summertime I was starting to question if this was really the path I was supposed to pursue. Nothing was working out! Yet, I still felt I need to move back. (through all of this, I always remembered the quote by Pres. Eyring, "If you are on the right path, it will always be uphill.")

I've really tried to turn to the Lord and the words of the prophets to help me and guide me in this journey. Around pioneer day, I had an interesting epiphany - I am like the pioneers. Here I am forging onto an unknown path. I'm not sure how I'm going to get there. But, I know I've got to have "faith in every footstep."

Moving on... less than a month ago I was contacted about a job I had applied for which I really wanted. I had a phone interview with them and it went really well. I thought, "this could be it!" They asked me to do a second interview. So, we got that scheduled. It was to be over Skype. I kid you not. Every.little.thing. went wrong this particular week. It just so happened that I didn't have internet at my apartment. So, I went to the library to reserve a room there. Too bad the library was closed on Thursdays (so random!). Thankfully, I was able to use my wonderful friend's apartment.

I get on Skype for the interview. There were a few people there to interview me. The first thing I am told is that fifteen minutes before the interview they were told hiring for the position is on hold and they weren't sure when they'd be hiring for it. But, they decided to go forward with interviewing. It was good practice for me, so I went ahead with it. But I thought, "of course! Of course they're not hiring for this! Nothing has gone right this week." Following the interview, the rest of the week went horribly. I really, seriously wondered what was going on. I told my Mom, "Either I'm REALLY not supposed to move, or I REALLY am."

Through all of this, my Mom has been very supportive (my Dad and so many others have too, for the record). I've bounced thoughts and ideas off her and told her my problems. She's been there to remind me to have faith and that things will work out.

I can't remember at what point it was, but sometime as I was discussing things with my Mom, we both kind of decided that maybe it was time for a huge leap of faith. Maybe it was time to just move - with or without a job. This was the scariest thing of all. I did this when I moved here to Arizona three years ago and things did work out. But, it was scary. I remember several months ago telling my Mom I could never do that again. Well, of course, Heavenly Father has different plans. Never say never. I didn't even consider this to be an option again. But, I had to humble myself and get over my stubbornness.

A few weeks ago when I decided this was what I was going to do, I was driving to church pondering this choice. I thought, "Ok Heavenly Father, if we sing 'I'll Go Where You Want Me to Go' in Church today, I will really know I am supposed to move to Utah." Guess what the opening hymn in Sacrament Meeting was that day? Yep. (P.S. Thank you to my wonderful friends who put up with me being an emotional wreck that day!)

That week I decided that maybe I needed to just take a leap of faith and list my apartment spot on a housing site. I thought, "ok, if I'm not supposed to move to Utah then I won't be able to find anyone to fill my spot. If I am, then I will." I listed it Friday morning. Friday afternoon I was contacted by someone who was interested. They came to see it Saturday and checked out the ward on Sunday. On Sunday they said they'd take it. So, that was my answer.

And now I'm getting ready to leave. It is bittersweet. I've learned and grown SO much. I came down here all by myself and only knew a handful of people. And now I've made some wonderful lifelong friends who I'm going to miss terribly (people better come visit me in Utah!). I'm so grateful for the amazing people I've met here and the awesome experiences I've had.

I don't know what the future holds. I really hope I'm able to get a job and survive ok off my savings. It's really scary. But, I'm only doing it because I know it's what I'm supposed to do. I just keep reminding myself that "it will all work out." I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future. He's got a great plan for my life. So I'll trust Him.