I gave a talk in church today for the first time in seven (!) years. It was actually really good for me to prepare this talk. I got to choose a conference talk from this most recent General Conference. I chose to speak on this talk. I was really touched by it. Thought I'd share my talk/thoughts on this blog. I know I have so many friends who are "waiting on the Lord" for various things too. My heart goes out to you all!
(I am part of a congregation of singles ages 31-45, f.y.i.)
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Waiting on the Lord. It’s something I both love and hate. I have studied about it a bit (I actually have a whole Pinterest board dedicated to it. Haha.) and I am living it. I think sometimes we dodge the topic publicly as midsingles. But, I’m grateful Elder Holland so wonderfully addressed it in his talk this last conference. I loved his remarks and have chosen to give my talk based on his.
Waiting is something we can all relate to. He starts out his talk by talking about the pandemic and how we are all tired of it. It’s gone on way too long. How long will we have to wait for it to be over?
And then he shifts to other challenges including: those who want to be married and aren’t, those whose marriages are struggling, those battling medical conditions, and emotional and mental health challenges. And then he mentions that there are large economic, political, and social concerns that confront us collectively.
So, we have all of these challenges. And we pray so hard for them to be over. But sometimes, they aren’t over very fast. Sometimes we have to live through our trials. and some trials we have to live with.
Elder Holland talks about the fact that God wants our happiness and exaltation above everything else. So, if this is the case, why doesn’t He provide a miracle and relief from our waiting? He says, “Yes, God can provide miracles instantaneously, but sooner or later we learn that the times and seasons of our mortal journey are His and His alone to direct.” He administers that calendar to every one of us individually. For every infirm man healed instantly as he waits to enter the Pool of Bethesda,3 someone else will spend 40 years in the desert waiting to enter the promised land.4 For every Nephi and Lehi divinely protected by an encircling flame of fire for their faith,5 we have an Abinadi burned at a stake of flaming fire for his.6 And we remember that the same Elijah who in an instant called down fire from heaven to bear witness against the priests of Baal is the same Elijah who endured a period when there was no rain for years and who, for a time, was fed only by the skimpy sustenance that could be carried in a raven’s claw."
What I’ve come to learn from these examples as well as experiences in my own life, is that it doesn’t always make sense. Why do some people get miracles and others don’t? I think what it comes down to is there are lessons for each of us to learn in the various experiences we have. There are lessons to be learned when we are instantaneously granted a miracle. There are lessons to be learned when we wait.
C.S. Lewis said, “I am sure that God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that it is good for him to wait. When you do enter your room, you will find that the long wait has done you some kind of good which you would not have had otherwise.”
I’ve had several experiences with waiting in my life. Sometimes I feel like that’s always God’s answer. Like, I’m about to cross the sidewalk and I push the button and hear blaring at me, “wait!”
There was a period of time in my life when I was waiting for a good job. In total, I was job hunting for three years. I had countless interviews. I sought help and perfected my resume. I had experience. I had connections. There was no logical sense as to why I could not find a good job. But, looking back on it, God needed me to wait so I could learn from that experience. I learned to rely on Him. I learned to be humble. I learned that so many people were so kind and wanting and willing to help me in my trial. And, one of the biggest blessings - I was able to relate to a sister in my ward who was job hunting as well. She’s now one of my best friends.
Another personal experience - one I think we can all relate to - I’ve had to wait to find my eternal companion. When I was younger, I always envisioned myself getting married in my early twenties and certainly have tons of kids by my thirties. I never thought I’d STILL be single in my thirties. But, as I’ve thought about it, there have been many blessings while I wait for this blessing. I have made friends I otherwise would not have met, I have been able to spend a lot of time alone with God and develop my relationship with him, I’ve been able to spend more time with my parents, I’ve been able to see and experience the world in ways that I could not if I were married. And, I’m grateful for that.
There are so many blessings that come from waiting. I love this quote by John Maxwell, “God prepares leaders in a crockpot, not a microwave. More important than the awaited goal is the work God does in us while we wait. Waiting deepens and matures us, levels our perspective, and broadens our understanding. Tests of time determine whether we can endure seasons of seemingly unfruitful preparation, and indicate whether we can recognize and seize the opportunities that come our way.”
I don’t know about you all, but I feel like I’m fully cooked and burnt at this point in that crockpot! But, I love that. Waiting changes us and provides opportunities.
One of the blessings of waiting, I’ve learned is that we have to rely on God and our faith is strengthened. Elder Holland says, “faith means trusting God in good times and bad, even if that includes some suffering until we see His arm revealed in our behalf. That can be difficult in our modern world when many have come to believe that the highest good in life is to avoid all suffering, that no one should ever anguish over anything. But that belief will never lead us to “the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ.”
Ultimately, the biggest blessing of waiting on the Lord is that it will prepare us to be who our Father in Heaven needs us to be. Elder Holland says, “one’s life … cannot be both faith-filled and stress-free.” It simply will not work “to glide naively through life,” saying as we sip another glass of lemonade, “Lord, give me all thy choicest virtues, but be certain not to give me grief, nor sorrow, nor pain, nor opposition. Please do not let anyone dislike me or betray me, and above all, do not ever let me feel forsaken by Thee or those I love. In fact, Lord, be careful to keep me from all the experiences that made Thee divine. And then, when the rough sledding by everyone else is over, please let me come and dwell with Thee, where I can boast about how similar our strengths and our characters are as I float along on my cloud of comfortable Christianity.”
I was really struck by that. Wow. I think we have to have an eternal perspective in our waiting. We can’t have it easy and expect to become like our Savior. I think it will be joyous on the other side when we unite with others and share our experiences from this life - experiences of waiting, learning, growing and trusting. The experiences that made us who we are and more like our Savior.
I think it’s easy to view our trials and our waiting with such a limited perspective. In the eternal scheme of things our waiting is for a small moment.
I love in Elder Holland’s talk he refers to the experience Joseph Smith had in Liberty Jail. The prophet cried out, “O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?” (D&C 121:1.)
Side note - what struck me in this is that it’s ok to sometimes ask, “O God, where are thou?” and sometimes we feel like God has forsaken us. A prophet felt this way.
But, Heavenly Father gave this reassuring response”
“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.” (D&C 121:7–8.)
I am so grateful to know that in the grand scheme of things our waiting is but a small moment. And those things that we have had to wait so patiently for will one day be ours.
I want to close by sharing the lyrics from a beautiful song by Rob Gardner titled, “Sometime We’ll Understand.” I recommend looking it up and listening to it. But, here are the lyrics.
Not now, but in the coming years,
It may not be when we demand,
We'll read the meaning of our tears,
And there, sometime, we'll understand
Why what we long for most of all
Eludes our open, pleading hand;
Why ever silence meets our call,
Somewhere, sometime, we'll understand.
So trust in God through all thy days;
Fear not, for He doth hold thy hand;
Though dark thy way, still sing and praise,
Sometime, sometime we'll understand.
Sometime, we'll fall on bended knee,
And feel there, graven on His hand
Sometime with tearless eyes we'll see
What, here, we could not understand.
So trust in God through all the days;
Fear not, for He doth hold thy hand;
Though dark thy way, still sing and praise,
Sometime, sometime we'll understand.
I know that sometime we'll understand why we've had to wait for the things we want most. God has a plan for each of us. Sometimes that involves waiting. Lots of waiting. But, that waiting will help us become who He needs us to be.
